Crazy or what?

Okay. The thing is, I asked this myself the whole time, when does Tom actually have the time for his running - and why - because he lives in London - did nobody see him doing his runs. Now I read he does them at 3 am.
And with this day - 3 am london time, will be the time I´ll get up, put my things on and visit the gym. Because I hardly go - but pay every month and I think the thought of him doing his runs at the same time, will help me to continue and don´t get lazy about it.
It´s like he has become some kind of guardian spirit - a kind of guru for me. I'm a pretty negative and often a sad person - but his joy and humbleness I want to be able to say 'I am an optimist. I choose to be,there is a lot of darkness in our world, there is a lot of pain and you can either choose to see that or you can choose to see the joy. If you try to respond positively to the world, you’ll spend your time better. If you respond negatively, you might one day look back and say, ‘Why did I spend the whole time complaining? Why didn’t I acknowledge the stuff I have, never mind the stuff I didn’t have?’ I’m a glass-half-full person, simply because it’s a better use of my time.'

And it is, who would mind the people saying your kind of blue eyeish, this is the thing - negativity and sarcasm has never given anyone a more safisfied life, has never made a life better or someone happy. He makes me want to change myself. To do something about my unhappiness. Just do something.

My Mum told me the other day this Man would be diseappearing like any other Idol I had, but this won´t be happening, I liked them because I felt near to them, because I thought I saw a part of myself in them, but this guy is my total opposite. Like I was the black and he the white side of the ying-yang.
But - I never felt so near to someone I actually never met.

In a intimate, really deep personal way. This is kinda strange for I like girls actually. More than guys - in a sexual way. This feeling is really from the heart. I like him. and I like the way he makes me feel about myself and that he forces me to see myself in a different light and that he infact changed my life.